Don’t Ask Me

Why are you taking my picture?

How come Jesus never smiles?

If Buddha means “The Awakened One,” why are his eyes always closed?  Also, why do people keep waking him up?  Let the poor guy sleep, for crying out loud.

When the hijackers aimed the planes at the World Trade Center, did they really think it would make everything better?

Harry Truman admitted in his diary that the Japanese were already prepared to surrender before he gave the orders to drop the bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.  So why did he call the first one (lovingly nicknamed “Fat Man”; the second was dubbed “Little Boy”–you can’t deny that the military has a cute sense of humor) “a God-given bomb”?

Why does Mickey Mouse wear those white gloves?  Is he carrying the Hanta virus?  Or is he just Michael Jackson’s long-lost, acromegaly-afflicted cousin?

Shouldn’t it be called death insurance?

Since you don’t miss your water till your well runs dry, are tears a practical joke you play on yourself?

How do doctors feel about going to the doctor?  Do they think, “I hope this guy’s not a quack like me”?

Why is it that scientists and historians struggle all their lives to find the truth while religious leaders tell you you’re going to hell if you don’t buy into their web of lies?

Is destroying the Earth the best way to save the global economy?

By being the biggest arms dealer in the world (responsible for 77% of global arms sales in 2011), is the U. S. trying to get even with itself?

Do American politicians think that by unconditionally supporting Israel’s bellicose foreign policy, they can somehow endear their country to the rest of the Middle East?

Is the obesity epidemic really just the developed world’s way of saying, “Eat or be eaten”?

Have the Asian consumers whose spending habits help perpetuate the ivory trade ever stopped to consider how it feels to be an elephant?

Similarly, do the people who enjoy whale meat ever entertain the thought of having their insides ripped open by an exploding harpoon and being dragged to their deaths by a whaling ship?

Do the people who work for the National Security Agency really want to live in a world where nobody has any privacy?

To those who claim our species is superior to all others, how do you define “superior”?

Madeleine Albright described the United States as “the indispensable nation.”  Does that make all the other nations dispensable?

Is indefinitely extending human life spans really such a great idea?  Who gets to live forever?  Dick Cheney?

Many religious leaders promise that there’s no such thing as death, that it’s all a figment of your imagination.  Is that why zombies appear to be taking over the world?

If death is part of nature, isn’t its attempted eradication an unnatural goal?

Where is technology taking us, and how much has it had to drink?

How come every time some big shot inventor comes up with a new device, everyone has to get one?

Does driving a car everywhere make you a better person?

If love is real, why is it so elusive?

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