Family Time

“Daddy, may I ask you a question?”


“Why are you and Mommy getting divorced?”

“That’s a good question.”

“Mommy, why are you and Daddy getting a divorce?”

“Why don’t you ask your father?”

“I just did.”

“What did he say?”

“He told me it was a good question.”

“Well, he’s right; it is.”

“Thank you.  Now could you please do me a favor and answer it?”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Why can’t I get a straight answer out of either of you?”

“You wouldn’t understand, honey.”

“How would you know?”

“Because you’re too young.”

“I’m nearly six.”

“That’s what I mean.”

“Could you two please shut up?  I’m trying to watch TV.”

“Why don’t you shut up yourself?  Stop telling other people what to do.”

“Yes, dear.”

“Mommy and Daddy, when I grow up, I want to get divorced.”

“Why, pumpkin?”

“So I can be like you.”

“That’s a terrible thing to say, precious.”

“Then why are you guys doing it?”

“Look, Tina, your mother and I can’t stand each other anymore.  Okay?”

“That’s not true, honey.  It’s just that life gets complicated.”

“You’re telling me.  Next year I have to go to elementary school.  Have you seen that place?  It looks like a prison to me.”

“Hey, watch it, Tina.  I work at a prison.  I have feelings too, you know.”

“Yes, you do.  For yourself.”

“That’s not fair, Margaret.”

“I’m only saying what’s true.”

“Remind me not to come home tomorrow.”

“Why should I?  You usually forget anyway.”

“You two are acting like children.”

“Hey, little girl.  We’re you’re parents; treat us with respect.”

“When I grow up, I’m not going to have kids.”

“Oh, honey!  That’s too bad.  Why not?”

“So I can play the field like Daddy.”

“What did you say in front of her!”

“Hey!  Stop hitting me!  Ouch!  That’s my newspaper!”

And they all lived happily–at least some of the time–ever after.


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