The Love Song of Richard B. Cheney

 

To Lynne, the Sexiest former C. E. O. of a global arms dealer I know (Lockheed Martin, two formerly separate companies brought together in holy matrimony by the Reverend Bill Clinton, making them in their combined lucrative love the most profitable weapons manufacturer in the world) 

My affection for you

is classified information.

Now let’s get it on

in an undisclosed location.

My desire for you burns

like the city of Baghdad.

I’m a boy who yearns

for his very own stag-pad.

If you’ll receive this extension

of my love with approval

I will pay for your pension

and appendix removal.

As I kneel down and pray

to the Dark Lord of Love,

please my loneliness slay

with a bomb from above.

Let us walk through this life

without fear of reprisal.

Please remain my damned wife

and pretend I’m King Faisal.

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