What I Abominate About the Barking Little Bastards Who Live in My Building

I generally love dogs more than anyone.  By that I don’t mean that I love them more than I love people (it depends both on which dog and which person you’re referring to), just that you’d have trouble finding someone who loves dogs as much as I do, even though I haven’t had a dog in years.  And I live in Korea, where dog meat is both cheap and plentiful.  I know–life is saturated with irony.

Unfortunately, I can’t attest to loving all dogs.  For example, there are two dogs that live on the floor above me whom I freely abhor.  They’re always yapping about something or snapping their shit-eating little snouts at someone.  My wife tells me I should be more forgiving, that they too are suffering organisms worthy of compassion and mercy.

She’s probably right (she usually is), but still–I absolutely hate them.  Whenever I either leave or enter the building, they’re up there on the veranda, yipping away with menacing tenacity.

They’re ugly little suckers too.  My folks back home in the U. S. have a standard poodle who’s big, black, and beautiful, but these guys are snarling, scrawny little white emaciated short-haired poodles, the kind of dog that’s born to be drop-kicked out of a high window.

The pernicious little monsters will probably outlive me.  They remind me of Winston Smith’s next-door neighbors’ children in George Orwell’s 1984, the vicious little savages whose own parents fear that their repellent and parasitic progeny will turn them in to the thought police for invented thought crimes, just to be devious, gratuitously vindictive little shits.

These dogs are so inherently nasty, they even bark at each other.  They are proof of the existence of petty–albeit largely innocuous–evil in the world.

Still, I have to admit, the woman they live with is attractive and pleasant.  I have no idea what she sees in them.

It just proves the truth of the old chestnut that love is blind, even the love of relentlessly cacophanous vermin with no perceivable redeeming features or entertainment value whatsoever, the carnivorous, canine equivalent of a Fiberglas crucifix.

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One thought on “What I Abominate About the Barking Little Bastards Who Live in My Building

  1. You are silly! I Have a little white poodle mixed with cocker aka cockerpoo. He’s so ugly that he turned cute. Barks at even someone knocking at a door within the house such as bathroom door, bedroom door. He’s just doing his job. It’s so funny and annoying. But, he will lick your face up once you get close to him. Even strangers. I love him more than most people.

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