1. How would Hitler have finished the following quote? “To err is human, to forgive, ______________.”
A. unacceptable. B. preposterous. C. satanic. D. insane.
2. What was the name of Hitler’s debut solo album in his short-lived career as a lounge singer?
A. Richard Wagner Uber Alles. B. Old Blue Eyes Is Back. C. Eva Braun Is Coming to Town. D. The Gentle Side of Genocide.
3. How would Hitler have completed the following line: “All you need is ______________”?
A. force. B. hate. C. war. D. lies.
4. The legend adorning the entrance to the gate at Auschwitz reads: “Work will make you ___________.”
A. sleepy. B. drink. C. sick. D. mad. E. dead.
5. The man who accused Hitler of having stolen his trademark mustache in the first documented case of plagiarized facial hair was:
A. Rolly Fingers. B. Josef Stalin. C. Tom Selleck. D. Charlie Chaplin. E. Neville Chamberlain.
6. The reason Hitler had the nickname “Fuhrer” was because he:
A. was always so cheerful. B. had anger management issues. C. exuded a Buddha-like calm. D. wanted to intimidate Winnie Churchill, Frankie Roosevelt, and Joey Stalin.
7. Hitler’s mother’s maiden name was:
A. Schicklgruber. B. Nietzsche. C. Sacajawea. D. McGillicuddy.
8. Hitler always rehearsed his speeches in front of a mirror in a:
A. department store fitting room. B. barber shop. C. funhouse. D. mental ward.
9. Hitler’s ideal physical type had blond hair and blue eyes because he:
A. was a huge Abba fan. B. had never met a black person before. C. didn’t know what Asians looked like. D. thought the blond would turn to grey less noticeably and had a blue-sky fetish.
10. Hitler’s anti-Semitism sprang from:
A. an inability to pronounce certain Yiddish words. B. a traumatic childhood experience in which he nearly choked to death on a blintz. C. an envy of Jewish people’s overall humor, generosity, and zest for life. D. a Hitlerian hatred and secret envy of Jesus, the all-loving, socialistic, egalitarian uber-Jew.
11. Hitler’s last words were:
A. “Forgive them, Lord; they know not what they do.” B. “I don’t get no respect.” C. “It’s not my job, man.” D. “The hills are alive with the sound of music.” E. “The rest is silence.” F. “Brother, can you spare a dime?” G. “Are you talkin’ to me?” H. “Toto, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.” I. “It’s been a great game of golf, fellas.” J. “I can see clearly now; the rain is gone.” K. “It won’t be long till happiness comes up to greet me.” L. “You can’t fool all of the people all of the time.” M. “Imagine there’s no heaven.” N. “I’d like to thank my producer.” O. “I’m the N. R. A.” P. “Let my people go!” Q. “Hello, I must be going.” R. “Guns don’t kill people; I do.” S. “What the world needs now is love, sweet love.” T. “Sometimes when we touch, the honesty’s too much.” U. “Sailing, take me away to where I’m going.” V. “All day, all night, midnight sale. Big savings at Steinberg’s, midnight sale.” W. “You’ll feel better in the clothes you wash in Woolite.” X. “Meow meow meow meow. . .” Y. “That’s all, folks!” Z. “If I only had a heart.” Z1. “Have it my way.”