Jesus chooses to use an Uzi in Jerusalem’s jazzy jacuzzi.*
Ebenezer Scrooge colludes with Bozo, Beelzebub, and Basil the Zebra of Zimbabwe over bazooka-fuls of booze.
Sheila selfishly flashes unofficial shellfish in a flush-fleshed fashion.
Ted tentatively titled the track “Tackling the Tennis Racquet” and taught Terence to attend to tetanus shots.
Patterson Parrot’s parents apparently relented and repented perpetuating their pathological pattern.
Doctor Bjorn Bourne, an obstreperous cornball and ostrich’s obstetrician, was, despite obvious obstacles, born to perform abortions.
A vanilla avalanche of lava channels eventually vanquished the evangelist’s vanishing phalanges.
Bartleby the bartender liberated Betty the ballerina from the bitterly belittled albatross around her brilliantly beautiful neck.
Adore him or deplore him, Rick Santorum is a bore and a shnorrer, an argument for abortion, an excruciating douche bag, and the next president of the United States–NOOOOOOOO!
(Don’t worry–it’s only a nightmare.)
*Please don’t interpret this as an editorial comment: I’m not out to burn anyone’s Koran, Bible, Torah, Bhagavad-Gita, Upanishads, Tao te Ching, Dhammapada, or Cosmopolitan magazine.